I feel like im too afraid to say anything ever. My feelings are too large, too much, too needy, too all the time. I feel like I am just someone who needs to process my emotions through talking. I feel like I need to talk in order to communicate what needs to happen in order for things to work in the relationship. Like if I canI can't talk how can things move forward. If I canI can't talk then how is it a relationship. Like I feel like I canI can't say hey that comment you made hurt me my feelings hurt or hey im not feeling well can we do something else. I feel like me talking is too exhausting. That how can you express a thought and pass it from one person to another and understandings without communicating. It feels like I am not allowed to just be the person that I am. I just want to be able to talk and be myself and communicate. I just want reassurance and understanding. The hardest part is feeling like I am just trying to set boundaries and explain why something hurt why something needs to be set and itit's something that is actually important to say and it feels like im noI'm not allowed to say it because irit's seen as a hard conversation. But its so important to say. How else are things going to get better. If you are sitting and not saying anything and are obviously being anxious and i say I invited you itit's ok if you want to leave and I get little to no response I feel like itit's fair for me to say hey I invited you I need communication from you otherwise I have no idea what is going on and I am loalost, confused and sitting in anxiety with you. I feel like if I ask you to leave it will just end up worse. Either I need clarity, communication, answers, or for you to be ok with me just kicking you out. If I am met with anxiety and stress from every response I give back then there is no room for improvement or for me to set healthy boundaries. It feels like no wonder I am afraid to express my emotions at this point. I am afraid that I am going to be met with just anxiety no matter what I do. I also feel like if I am come at with anger with anxiety and told all these scary things where I am terrified that you are going to hurt yourself that I feel like I need some clarity as to what happened. I was so scared, cried my eyes out. I understand wanting to move on but that was one of the scariest nights I've had and feeling like I cancan't talk about it or that there isnisn't going to be a conversation. I am just trying to express myself. I just felt like I was explaining myself that night and I was told no you are wrong and iI'm not going to get any clarity on that or even an apology about being told I was wrong and I feel like thatthat's unfair and iI'm trying to be empathetic and ok with whatwhat's going on because I know how hard life is but that hurt me so bad. I felt like I was being told my whole life was a lie and everything I believed was a lie. It hurt me so badly and deeply to my core. I am holding this within me and I feel like I have to go through it alone because of where everything is rn and if I want this relationship to survive I have to told all my emotions back and not say anything. Not talk about how much I hurt. About what happened or what will happen. That I have to hole myself up so that you can have energy to be yourself again. that I want you to survive. That it feels like only one of us can at this point. I am not a therapist and I don't have energy. There are ways to solve this but I am exhausted. I feel like I cant think through anything securely anymore. I dont want to wake up crying every morning again.



i feel like I dont know what happened. We were getting so close. I was saying I love you everyday. Wanting to smell your shirt. I was feeling like I was actually starting to get close again. Like I wasn't needing to have as many difficult conversations. That I was having less of them.needing less reassurance. That I was getting closer and feeling closer and doing well. I don't know what changed. I feel likelike was trying so hard and I thought things were going well. I feel so confused like what happened. I just don't know anymore